Special Selection: "A Gaze to Protect"

"A Gaze That Wants to Protect"

My grandfather is now 99 years old.
He was born in September 1922 and will be 100 years old next month. I'd like to tell you a little bit about my grandfather.

I heard that he lost his parents to illness when he was eight years old.
And in his late teens, he crossed the ocean to fight in the war in Manchuria.
He was a miraculous man who witnessed the death of those who had encouraged him, and who, having no food to eat, survived by eating ants and returning home.
He then returned to Japan and started a secondhand bookstore, and once it was on track he married my grandmother.
In those days of poverty, he would walk to places that would now take an hour to get by car on the highway to buy books, then he would load a cart full of books and walk home all day to sell them to support his family.
The children that were born (my father and uncle) were afraid to hold them themselves, so they never held them.
She left all child-rearing to her grandmother and worked from morning to night.
Eventually, my grandparents' second-hand bookstore became the largest building in the shopping district.
My parents also took over the secondhand bookstore, and my home town is the secondhand bookstore. When I came home from school, I would always help my grandfather with pricing at his desk, read manga, give him 10,000 yen pocket money if I memorized the entire Heart Sutra, play with him on his waist tie, and sometimes tell him war stories. He was a kind grandfather who always played with me and taught me everything.

Eleven years ago in March, my grandfather's son, my father, passed away.
At the end of the funeral, when I, being daddy's girl, refused to move away from the coffin, screaming, "Don't close it!", it was my grandfather who pulled me away and embraced me more forcefully than anyone else.

His son, who was more precious to him than life and with whom he had spent every day doing business together for many years, had passed away before him, and although it was an emotion that could not be put into words, my grandfather did not shed a single tear.

When the funeral was over and I returned home with all my relatives, we were all getting changed and taking a breather when I heard a groaning sound I'd never heard before. It was coming from my grandfather's room.
After releasing all the emotions I had been holding back for so long, I went to my room and cried out loud, unable to hold anything back. We cried again at the sight of our invisible grandfather.

Then, a year later, on the day after the anniversary of my father's death, my grandfather's wife, my grandmother, also passed away suddenly at home, following in my father's footsteps.

My grandfather will be 100 years old next month.
Over its 100-year history, these are eyes that have seen so much death and sorrow - parents, siblings, comrades-in-arms, friends, sons, and wives.
Of course, there were happy moments too.
I sometimes take my children to visit my parents' house.
I always take my child to my grandfather's house, who lives downstairs. I still don't hold my child because I'm afraid, and because I'm from an era where people think that taking a picture will take away their soul, I just casually press the shutter.

To my great-grandchild, so small that he sleeps on this cushion
The gentle gaze he gave me as he approached me was undoubtedly filled with happiness.

A precious life that has lived desperately for 100 long years and passed on to future generations.

The rest of my life ahead of me,
I hope the world that my grandfather sees is a kinder one.
A prayer to protect my grandfather's gentle gaze
I want to convey my deep gratitude through photos.
That's why I chose this photo.